It is my birthday month and I’m called to re-establish my claim to this life. These last 3.5 years have been such a struggle and I have neglected myself and I realize that I need to focus on building my self-compassion toolkit!  

At the beginning of this year I wrote an article about rebuilding and staking a claim to life and I committed to disrupting and dismantling my old stories and the things holding me back. Never have I been more accurate in predicting what was going to show up for me. AND never could I have known the unforeseen pain and health issues that would arise as I’ve been working through it all.

But here I am.

Here you are.

Here we are together. This has been a year of disruption for all.

As I’ve been thinking about where I am in life (and where I’d like to be) I uncovered some interesting truths about myself. I have not wanted to accept where I am. I have been avoiding certain facts about my life and I have taken on grief as a huge part of my identity (and I share that from a place of observation, not judgment).

GRIEF IS NOT A PERSONALITY CHARACTERISTIC

Recently, I’ve been able to see that I am not my grief. Grief is not me. It is something I’m going through, it is part of me, and I don’t know from day to day how strong the emotions will be, but I know that I no longer want to carry it around as something that defines me. Grieving is not a personality trait.

In order to move through this sticky place, I’m turning towards the shadow I've wanted to avoid and I’m leaning in. Today, I accept where I am. It is the day of my birth, and as I see it, there is no better time to accept myself, than now, as I move into this new year of life.

Many people reflect on their year and set goals when they get to New Year’s Eve. I am doing this now and I invite you to join me.

The New Year is not the only time we get to reset. You can choose to reset any day. So, why not today?

SELF-COMPASSION and SELF-CARE ARE NOT SELFISH

In my work as a feminine transformation coach I have discovered many truths. The first (and the only one we’ll be exploring in this series) is that self-compassion is the foundation for our work as feminine transformation leaders. Nothing can grow in a neglected garden. You are a feminine leader and you must give yourself the nourishment you need. Focus on nurturing and filling your well and watch how you will flourish!

If you do not spend time daily filling your well, you will crave things from the outside to fulfill you. In this self-compassion series, we will focus on nourishing ourselves, refueling our bodies, and discovering our individual secret medicine that makes us feel abundant and fulfilled.

TRANSFORMATIONAL BODY OF WORK

As coaches, healers, and change agents working with clients and creating programs with our transformational body of work, we must take extra care of ourselves. We must be mindful of how we feel and take time to fill up our energy well so we can continue to show up as we truly are and be aligned with our highest self.

Over the next 30 days we will be dedicating our time to all things self-compassion, self-kindness, self-acceptance, and self-love. 

In this series, we will discover what self-compassion means and how to create space every day to focus on replenishing our energy. We will also cover techniques and modalities for increasing our self-confidence and to appreciate ourselves and our greatest gifts.

RADICAL SELF-CARE

There’s so much to consider in regards to embracing radical self-compassion and self-care.

The benefits will not only lift you up, but your entire energy field will radiate and contribute to everyone around you: your family, your friends, and your clients.

Self-compassion is a simple concept, but it can be easy to neglect. As healers we tend to be focused on giving to other’s needs, but we can quickly find ourselves depleted if we’re not mindful of where we spend our energy.

Kristin Neff defines self-compassion as follows,

ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOU ARE

You can accept yourself for who you are AND you can be excited about growing and improving every day. Self-compassion can’t wait until the “someday” when you’ll feel better or when you feel like you’re worthy of having it. Self-compassion must be nurtured consistently, especially when you are a transformation healer, coach, guide, lightworker, or teacher.  

There are many benefits to self-compassion. You can connect to self-love, self-kindness, self-acceptance, self-confidence just by strengthening your self-compassion. When you truly love yourself, you’re more satisfied with life. You’ll have a deeper awareness that you are in charge of the ways in which you choose to respond to what happens in life.

As a result, you will have better relationships with others and even more important, you will have a better relationship with self. When we strengthen our relationships with self, we are able to set boundaries with others, we are more capable to say what we want and need, and we have the confidence to show up in the world more comfortable with being seen, heard, self-expressed and standing in the truth of who we are, unapologetically.

VALIDATE YOUR SELF-WORTH, IT'S AN INSIDE JOB

Inside this new depth of self-acceptance, we release the need to be validated by others. We no longer seek their approval because our worth and our perception of our worthiness, comes from within.

Self-compassion makes self-care come more naturally because you understand that you deserve to protect energy, time, and resources for yourself. You are more likely to pursue your desires once you accept your depth of worth and you acknowledge that your very existence means that you are worthy of abundance.

This greater sense of self and deeper understanding of the greater truth builds confidence. You become more optimistic and source your creativity from a higher vibration.

Now that you have an idea of some of the benefits that come from loving yourself and you dare to try on the idea of self-compassion, you’re ready to discover some ways to embrace the concept and make it a part of your everyday life.

As we move along in this series, we will come closer to incorporating these values into our own life and feeling more comfortable with the belief that we're worth it.

I'm doing this with you. We can do it together. Self-compassion and self-care are two areas that I struggle with, and that's why I'm writing this series now. I want to do better. I deserve to take better care of me. And so do you! You are worth it!

And let’s admit that when we’re on empty, we struggle to show up and lead in a powerful way.